A Thank You Note

There is someone I haven't thanked. I don't care what you think about him. I am not writing this to offend anyone. This blog post is just for him. All that matters is what I think about him. I love him. He has helped me through this journey more than anyone else has. He has been there for me when I am weak and when I am strong. When I am weak he makes me stronger and when I am strong he keeps me going. All too often I forget to say thank you to him for being there. I often hide him away or keep him in the shadows. I definitely don't always listen to what he has to say. Its okay though because he is very forgiving. More forgiving than anyone else I know. This is why I trust in him. He is always there for me. He has always believed in me even when I didn't believe in him. He never gives up on me and makes it so I can't give up on myself either. He is the ultimate coach and motivator. He is God and I would be a fool not to thank him for my life and what he has done for me. So: You know who you are and you know what you did and I thank you. I promise to read that book you wrote more often. =)

Falling off the wagon

Well, its true I did fall off just a little. For like two days and now I am back on but I will say that apparently according to several very helpful people this was not my fault. I can blame it all on that time of the month. Thank goodness. I mean I went on a ridiculous killer psycho binge on Monday and then Tuesday was just not healthy. Yesterday was better. I have also not felt much like exercising these past few days. Battling a serious drain of energy and a bit of eater's remorse/depression. I am however going to get back into the pool this morning not matter what! It seems like exercise always makes me more conscious of my health and what I am consuming. I mean who wants to spoil all that hard work with a burger. ( I want to, but only sometimes). I was also told by several people that I need to focus more on having protein at every meal and this should help curb the cravings. Lately, like the past month or so, I have been hungrier than normal and it is difficult to resist that extra handful of almonds or another sandwich. I think I am going to have to start getting serious about weighing and measuring my food. I might actually be under-serving myself and that might be why I am hungry. Well all I can say is onward and forward. I am back on the wagon, I am sure I will fall off some more but hey at least I keep getting back on!

Too fat to run?

Well yes I am, apparently. I decided to give a training program called Couch to 5K (a.k.a. C25K) a shot last night. Week one consists of 3 times a week you walk 5 minutes, then jog 60 seconds then walk 90 seconds until you have hit 20 minutes and I was able to jog only about 3 times before my ankles felt like they were going to pop off of my legs. Oh and I was out of breath alot (but I am pretty sure that is from the smoking). It wasn't easy to admit to myself that I couldn't do this thing last night. I think I will try again on Tuesday and just do as much as I can and finish with walking. I am not going to over-exercise but I really want to be able to run a 5K someday. I want to participate in fundraising walk/runs and I want to be able to support my friends and family members by running in the Susan G. Komen run, a diabetes run of some sort and even an Alzheimer's run in honor of my grandfather if there is even something like that around here.  My whole point is that I want to learn to run these things so that I can use that skill to raise money and support for some very important organizations that deserve it.

So right now I am going to keep at doing week one until I can do it all the way through completely without stopping and with doing the intervals correctly and efficiently. I think I might invest in a camel pack so I don't have to feel dehydrated and thirsty while I run. I guess this also one more reason I really need to quit smoking pronto! Anyway, if any of you have suggestions about exercises I can do or a different routine/schedule I can do to work on running please let me know. I would greatly appreciate any info you have and are willing to share.

On another note: I am forty pounds down! I am so happy to have come this far. I feel SO much better. When I lose 2.5 more pounds I will be at the 1/4 of the way mark through my weight loss journey! How exciting.

Also remember that if you like what you are reading please follow me, comment on here or subscribe! If you do those things then I know I have support, which helps alot.

Cats and other things

So this has been a really rough week for me. Quitting smoking is hard and I am doing my best but I am struggling. It seems like the moment I decide to do something positive in my life the stress train rolls into to town in a big way. I have gotten some disturbing news from the doctor, but don't worry it isn't life threatening and there is nothing that can be done. (Stressor #1). I am still searching for a teaching job and the state of Texas is doing it's best to ensure I never get one anywhere near where all of my friends and family and myself have lived for years. (Stressor #2). My weight is yo-yoing like crazy and I have no idea how much I have actually gained or lost in the past few days (Stressor #3). My grandmother is going in for surgery tomorrow and might not make it (Stressor #4). I could go on and on but then I would feel like I'm whining. Don't worry about me though because I am staying strong and I am not going to let anything beat me. In terms of success I am down to ten cigarettes a day versus a pack a day I was smoking. Progress is progress and come hell or high water I will be smoke free by my birthday!

I have been pretty faithful working out and I spent a good part of yesterday outside doing yard work and gardening. Tonight I am going to go see CATS, an Andrew Lloyd Webber  musical, with my mom. I think it will be alot of fun and it will be a nice reward for losing 39 pounds. I am still hoping it will be sixty total by my birthday. All in all I am doing my best and that is all anyone can ask of you. I really want to get back in the pool soon though. I need to mix it up again. I am getting bored of walking and aerobics in front of the television.