Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Impatient,Frightened...Not Giving Up

Stupid little toes, they all look so freakin happy!
Reference above picture to understand how I feel sometimes in this whole ordeal. Sometimes I just lack the patience to wait for the weight if you catch my drift. I am absolutely certain that if I have any chance of avoiding the lose skin that often occurs when you lose a bunch of weight then it really does have to come off slowly. I can't afford skin removal surgery and I don't want to be stuck with an apron. All I keep hearing from people is "slow and steady wins the race", "this is a marathon not a sprint", ect. ect. ect. I get it I really do. It's just that I want to feel fabulous now. Don't worry dear readers; I am not going to give up because I am not experiencing drastic results or because losing weight is pretty painful(physically, mentally and emotionally). I mean what is the point of all of the pain I have already gone through if I quit now. I can't have worthless pain. Then where would I be?  So, I will just keep chugging along and hoping that I will get to the 60lb mark by my birthday. I would be really excited if that happened, but if it doesn't then I am okay with that too. 

In other news: This just in, after fifteen years of habitual nicotine consumption a 29 year old obese woman has decided to smoke her last pack of cigarettes. Ever. That's right folks you heard it here first. Tonight I am having a smoke fest. Hopefully it will make me sick and disgusted with the very thought of smoking. Tomorrow is a new day and it really is the first day of the rest of my life. I plan on being smoke free by August 14th with the help of a ten week patch system which I start tomorrow. I am really afraid I am going to fail at this. I have never been this serious about quitting before and I don't want to be addicted to cigarettes for the rest of my life. (Words of encouragement please...) At the same time, I am very concerned that I will gain weight back and I really don't want that to happen. I know it's time to take that leap and that is scary because I don't know where I will land.

Let the fat pig jokes ensue lol!

Go on, laugh...you know you want to =)

Anyways, I am staying strong with my exercise and today I did 90 minutes of moving around that consisted of walking in place, jogging and some aerobic stuff. Not bad and a total of 600 some odd calories burned.  This is actually a big non scale victory for me, I never run or jog or anything and I have been able to keep up a sustained jogging pace without stopping for at least 3 minutes. That's not bad for someone who has no idea how to actually jog or run.  So I am excited that I have achieved a new level of fitness for me!


  1. I quit 10 years ago, after 9 years of smoking ...I still have cravings. I don't expect that to go away. I quit cold turkey, for me it was simply a matter of never buying or bumming them. I still think quitting was the most difficult thing I've ever done. You won't gain weight, as long as you don't replace cigarettes with food, as most folks do. NO SNACKING! I chewed a lot of sugar free gum for a year or so.

    I never had much faith in the the whole patch/gum thing ...you're still consuming nicotine which will continue to trigger the addiction in your brain. My brother-in-law has been chewing the gum for over 10 years. Once you finally do quit nicotine completely, it takes (about) two weeks to get over the chemical addition ...that's the hardest part.

  2. @ Kris: I am hoping that I can rely on gum and celery sticks to get me through this. I really do. I am using the patch to start but it is the step down system. I am hoping to slowly decrease the level of nicotine in my body. We shall see. Thanks for sharing your story.