Impatient,Frightened...Not Giving Up

Stupid little toes, they all look so freakin happy!

Reference above picture to understand how I feel sometimes in this whole ordeal. Sometimes I just lack the patience to wait for the weight if you catch my drift. I am absolutely certain that if I have any chance of avoiding the lose skin that often occurs when you lose a bunch of weight then it really does have to come off slowly. I can't afford skin removal surgery and I don't want to be stuck with an apron. All I keep hearing from people is "slow and steady wins the race", "this is a marathon not a sprint", ect. ect. ect. I get it I really do. It's just that I want to feel fabulous now. Don't worry dear readers; I am not going to give up because I am not experiencing drastic results or because losing weight is pretty painful(physically, mentally and emotionally). I mean what is the point of all of the pain I have already gone through if I quit now. I can't have worthless pain. Then where would I be?  So, I will just keep chugging along and hoping that I will get to the 60lb mark by my birthday. I would be really excited if that happened, but if it doesn't then I am okay with that too. 

In other news: This just in, after fifteen years of habitual nicotine consumption a 29 year old obese woman has decided to smoke her last pack of cigarettes. Ever. That's right folks you heard it here first. Tonight I am having a smoke fest. Hopefully it will make me sick and disgusted with the very thought of smoking. Tomorrow is a new day and it really is the first day of the rest of my life. I plan on being smoke free by August 14th with the help of a ten week patch system which I start tomorrow. I am really afraid I am going to fail at this. I have never been this serious about quitting before and I don't want to be addicted to cigarettes for the rest of my life. (Words of encouragement please...) At the same time, I am very concerned that I will gain weight back and I really don't want that to happen. I know it's time to take that leap and that is scary because I don't know where I will land.

Let the fat pig jokes ensue lol!

Go on, laugh...you know you want to =)

Anyways, I am staying strong with my exercise and today I did 90 minutes of moving around that consisted of walking in place, jogging and some aerobic stuff. Not bad and a total of 600 some odd calories burned.  This is actually a big non scale victory for me, I never run or jog or anything and I have been able to keep up a sustained jogging pace without stopping for at least 3 minutes. That's not bad for someone who has no idea how to actually jog or run.  So I am excited that I have achieved a new level of fitness for me!